Location: Upstairs hall

Mood: DECIDEDLY GLOOMY

Prayer for now?

"God, give me a miracle, please make me forget that camp i went to last month.. "

Weight lost ?: 1.5 kgs !!!    ( Oh alright, mood is slightly improving..  )

         ( *Sigh* ) Last night would be my most miserable one in history.. ( i just couldn't sleep! ) Not only did i have to cram loads of Undang crap into my head (the exam was supposed to be today), i also had to improvise and sort out the church songs i'm gonna play for Mass this Sunday! Oh, and i had to worry bout my sprained (or twisted?? i've no idea..) wrist. Guess its time to accept the fact that my right-hand wrist definitely needs time to heal before it can start playing music again. ( i blame this entirely on myself, since i twisted it beautifully last year but was too stubborn to see a doctor and immobilize it..  ) I had such a scare last night when i couldn't even flip a light switch without wincing in pain..! Thank goodness, went to see a dr today.. ( painkillers, a wristguard and plenty of rest should do the trick..) Even if it doesn't help, there's nothing much i can do now.. Sometimes, i get really pissed at the people in my church. Its like, when the organist plays just ONE note wrong, almost everyone in church turns and gives you that look.. (the worst are those who give the condescending smiles.. ) Thankfully, I don't get such stares anymore, probably cause of either one of these reasons.. :

a) Hmm, I've improved a lot throughout these 5 years? ( Hehe, yeah right..  )

b) I now return every stare with my own, well practiced "if-you're-so-great-why-don't  you-come-here-and-play-instead?" glare.

c) I don't really care what people think of my performance anymore. After all, i'm not playing for them..!

   *You may skip this part, cause its kinda boring.. ( or rather, more boring than usual..?  )

         Besides worrying bout old injuries,  i've also been pretty busy looking for things to do to fill my time. ( Since i'm moving on with my life and all that.. ) It's a lot harder than i thought, this whole "moving on" business.. Sometimes life feels so unbearable that you just wanna pick that person from your dreams and hug him!!   Anyway, back to my progress on forgetting that certain someone.. Playing in the band which my friends and I started for fun really helps as i need all the concentration to improvise songs.. Between that, baking uncountable amounts of cookies with my mom for Chinese New Year, hunting for suitable colleges or universities, going out with my friends, partying and reading loads of storybooks (when insomnia strikes at night), i guess my plan to "self-distract" is working pretty well.. Then again, i feel like i'm on a wheel, sometimes i manage not to think of him, sometimes i don't.. Oh well, wish me luck!  ( As in, luck to stabilize myself, not with that guy! )

         Oh, before i end, i have something very important to blog down.. i'd like to pay tribute to my dear friend, PRESENA!! Hehe, recently i gave her my blogsite, and she feels like i've forgotten her after all these years... ( She moved away 5 years ago..  ) How could i ever forget all the fun (and sometimes poignant ) memories we had back in primary school?  And so, i hope you come and visit me for Chinese New Year Pres, miss yah!!  With this, i wish all the insomniacs out there a very good night..! (or morning, whichever suits you..  ) Bye!