Okay, this is gonna be a short post cause it's really late (erm, its 3am so to some people i guess it's really early.. ) Anyway, i was just thinking..

"How deep is my faith as a Christian?"

Answer: (i think, probably as deep as a dish of water.. )

      Why do i criticize myself so harshly? Its simple, really.. One example should more than prove it.. Okay, this Christian camp i went to last month? They had this freaky "healing session", where this priest prayed on each individual. Many people were already sobbing or plain possesed by the time it was their turn to be prayed upon. ( Even my own sister fainted after he prayed on her! ) Meanwhile, yours truly was watching the whole scene with amusement at first, then with growing horror as they had to clear the hall since so many people were "slain in the Lord" and were dead to the world! I really couldn't feel anything, after the whole incident some of my friends said they felt a warm glow while ohers had uncontrollable shivering fits.. As for me..? Read on..

* Welcome to Christine's panicked and disjointed thoughts as her turn to be prayed upon grew nearer :

ME:

"Oh shit, only 3 more people and it's gonna be my turn larh..! Die, why don't i feel anything?? Oh no, 2 more people then its my turn...!!

5 minutes later..

" F***, 1 more person and its my turn..!! I wonder if i can pretend that i need to go to the bathroom? Oopz, too late, some facilitator seems to be guarding the damn door.. But i really do feel sick..!! ( I didn't eat much, so i was slightly lightheaded )

1 minute later...

PRIEST (talking to me) :

" Surrender yourself to God, let Him take control of you,.. bla bla bla,..you must relax your mind and body..bla bla... 

* Priest lifts my hands, continues asking me to let go..

ME:

" Oopz, i feel like laughing..!! Shit, i doubt if this was what he meant by letting go, i must control, must not burst out laughing..  Maybe i should just pretend to faint or something? Erm, on 2nd thoughts, better not.. (i may hit my head on the floor if that guy doesn't catch me in time.. ) Oh, THANK GOD, he's finished praying over me..! Yippee, now i can get back to my seat and watch other people faint..!  "

..............

      Yup, that about sums up the depth of my faith.. Sad, isn't it? Then again, i've met so-called Christians at that camp who smoke, gets drunk and goes clubbing till dawn.. I don't wanna judge anyone ( who knows, i may do the same after i move to KL..) so that's all for now, night..!